Here’s what I hope will happen if (or more likely when) Taylor Swift becomes president: She’ll delegate.
If Swift has help with the economy, the execution and enforcement of the laws created by Congress, and the whole Commander-in-Chief thing, honestly, we’ll be fine.
Who doesn’t like Taylor Swift? I mean, I don’t care for her music but I have nothing against her personally. In fact, I’d be willing to call her a sassy go-getter and an A+ businesswoman. I think many of you are in a similar situation. The only group I can think of that doesn’t like her is Republican extremists. Because she encouraged people to vote and, if more people vote, it harms the prospects of Republican extremists.
On account of extremism.
In principle, I’m a fan of voting. Exercising your franchise, taking part in democracy, the whole bit. I’m going to put an asterisk on it, though.
I’m a fan of voting as long as the people voting have some small knowledge of what’s going on. Not only in the U. S. but also in the world. Having that baseline understanding should be a prerequisite to participation. Yet people are resentful when you tell them to watch the bare minimum news — or, Heaven forbid, read. Most holdouts will tell you news is biased or if they’re Republican extremists, that the news is not news but “fake news”.
This, to me, is the height of lazy obfuscation. It’s shorthand for “I can’t be bothered.”
We call these people “Low Information Voters” and they are legion. I couldn’t find an exact percentage, but given what it’s like mixing with people today, I’m guessing it’s pretty high.
In looking for raw data, I came across this tidbit from the Wikipedia page on LIVs:
“A 1992 study found that in the absence of other information, voters used candidates’ physical attractiveness to draw inferences about their personal qualities and political ideology.”
People are people. It doesn’t surprise me they’d make high-stakes decisions based on attractiveness. At least with Taylor Swift, we’d have that aspect covered. (I think even the most curmudgeonly Republican extremist would concede that Taylor is one happenin’ lady.)
But let’s look at my original premise through the laziness lens. Wouldn’t electing Taylor Swift president represent a new low bar in laziness? Wouldn’t it be like an entire nation saying, “We give up”?
Yes, yes it would. But hear me out…
Comedian Bobcat Goldthwait once remarked that blaming the president for the state of the nation is like blaming Ronald McDonald when you get a bad cheeseburger. I used to believe that, but 2016 through 2020 changed my mind.
That notwithstanding, let’s assume a) the presidency is largely a figurehead position and b) Swift would offload any responsibilities she’s not fully equipped for. Again, I think that could work — partly because my gut reaction is that America’s sweetheart is not a malignant narcissist.
I don’t want to see Swift go toe toe-to-toe with Kim Jong Un or supervise troop deployment to some hypothetical (although inevitable) Middle East conflict. On the other hand, if she’s got a pet project, something she’s attached to, I’d be willing to give her some leeway. After all, she was willing to give us four years of her life.
According to Gallup:
“Congress’ latest 13% approval marks its 16th consecutive rating under 21%, the average since January 2021.”
Think about that for a moment. 13%. If you had a 13% approval rating at work, you’d not only be fired, you’d likely be sacrificed in a pagan ceremony. 13%. It boggles the mind.
What if Taylor decided she was sick of that state of affairs? She’s a smart woman. I think she’d figure out rather quickly the problem was Republican extremists. For Republican extremists — one in particular who’s been accused of having a “bleached blonde bad-built butch body” — government is performative. It’s about getting traction on X. It’s about soundbites.
What if Swift were to drop an executive order on seriousness and civility? What if she were to say to Republicans, “Until you guys start acting like adults, we are never ever ever getting back together.”
I would find that a hoot.
Look, I think the upcoming election demoralizes all of us. We’ve got a guy who’s too damn old for the job, and another guy who’s both a convicted felon and threatens to tear down the American Way.
It’s, to put it mildly, a bummer.
Think about how much goodwill we’d generate by putting pop darling Taylor Swift into the Oval Office — both domestically and overseas. We could use a little of that positivity right now.
Say it with me: “Tay-tay ’24!”